It’s Not the Imbalance. It’s the Lack of Resolution.

You’re not crazy. You’re not needy. You’re not imagining it.

You’ve probably done it willingly, without complaining. You stepped up when she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, or didn’t know how. And you were okay with that, because that’s what partnership is supposed to be about.

But here’s where things get heavy:

You’ve been carrying more for a long time now, and something tells you this isn’t just a rough patch.

It’s become the new normal. And no one’s talking about it.

Imbalance Happens. That’s Not the Problem.

Let’s be clear. This series isn’t about whining over who does more.

Some days, you do more. Some days, she does. Some weeks you carry the emotional weight. Some months she handles the house, the kids, the chaos. That’s what real life looks like.

But that’s not what we’re talking about here.

We’re talking about the kind of imbalance that becomes permanent.

Where one person checks out emotionally, physically, sexually, or practically and just stops showing up.

But still benefits from everything you continue to do.

You’re Still Showing Up. She’s Not.

You’re still putting in the hours. Still paying the bills. Still doing your part.

And maybe hers too.

You’re doing the dishes, handling the logistics, trying to keep peace.

And meanwhile, you’re not getting affection, or effort, or even acknowledgment.

You’ve probably even told yourself:

“She’s just stressed.”

“This is just a phase.”

“I shouldn’t be keeping score.”

“This is just how relationships get after a while.”

But something deeper is bothering you. It’s not just the imbalance.

It’s the silence around it.

This Isn’t About Blame. It’s About Clarity.

This series isn’t here to tell you to flip the table or start a fight.

It’s here to help you stop pretending this is fine.

You’re not wrong for noticing that she’s withdrawn.

You’re not broken for needing connection, touch, partnership, or appreciation.

And you’re not asking for too much by wanting a relationship that doesn’t feel one-sided.

But before you do anything, you need to ask the right questions.

Tool: The Agency Filters

There are only three reasons someone stops showing up.

1. They don’t want to.
2. They’re not willing to.
3. They can’t.

That’s it.

The first two are about choice. The last one is about capacity.

Knowing which one you’re dealing with makes all the difference in how you respond and whether this can be fixed.

Here’s a preview:

• If she doesn’t want to, there’s a conversation to be had.
• If she’s not willing, there’s a decision to make.
• If she’s unable, there’s support that might need to happen before resolution.

We’ll dig deeper into these in the posts that follow.

What’s Coming Next

Over the next few posts, we’ll explore three key areas where this shows up most often:

1. Physical intimacy — when closeness disappears but the expectations remain
2. Financial contributions — when you keep paying but feel increasingly alone
3. Shared work — when the house runs on your effort and no one notices

Each post will give you language, clarity, and a way forward. No drama. Just tools.

Bottom Line

If you’re feeling stuck, it doesn’t mean the relationship has to end.

But it does mean something has to change.

You’ve already proven you’re willing to carry the weight.

Now it’s time to stop carrying it alone.

Next Post →

👉 When Physical Intimacy Disappears and You’re Still Doing the Dishes